Satire: Student stands up to local mobsters…AND LIVES!

This is a submission from Alexander Chu for the Shark Scholar Satire Competition 2018.

In only a matter of weeks ago, a local student (who requested remain anonymous) was brutalized by a group of notorious mobsters. Footage of the incident shows that the assault transpired at around 6 pm near the school. He was found slumped over in a heap from exhaustion with multiple lacerations and extreme internal bleeding on most vital regions of his body.

The student (who we’ll refer to as “Steve” from this point onward) was returning home after working on a project late into the night. He was looking forward to going to sleep to reset the day and hurried home without paying much heed to his surroundings…a fatal mistake on his part. Soon, without even noticing it, Steve was swiftly surrounded by a group of ten of the biome’s most violent and feared individuals. And they were out for blood. They viciously beat Steve one by one for entire hours and though he tried to run, the mobs formed a tight wall, cutting off any possible route for escape. Though he attempted to fight back on several occasions, Steve had virtually no experience in and was instantly beat down time and time again. Soon, he had all but lost hope and was on the verge of giving up when a hunger ignited inside him, a desire to live. He couldn’t let it all end; not yet. Not when he still had so many achievements left to do and so many bosses left to kill. So he grit his teeth and with the last of his strength, made a final gambit and charged through the blockade of bodies; charged towards his only chance of preserving his life. The mobs’ AI wasn’t built to anticipate something so reckless, so stupid, and so downright irrational and were understandably befuddled by the development. This opened up a window of opportunity that allowed Steve to slip away and live to play another day.

Today, Steve is a changed man. He has come far from the days where he would cower in fear of the mob hordes. He has built castles, uncovered forgotten ruins, slain the gods themselves. In a strange way, he says that he feels a sort of gratitude towards the mobs that had left him on death’s door because it strengthened him. It strengthened his will. It strengthened his spirit. And it just goes to show the no matter how dire the circumstance, we can all rise up again and when we do…there’ll be little to stop us.

Featured Image courtesy of Alexander Chu